Mountain Dew Council of Elders Exiles Non-Radical Teen

From their hidden sanctuary high atop Mount Dew, the Mountain Dew Council Of Elders formally passed judgment on area teen Brian Ruderman yesterday, unanimously ruling him “not radical” and sentencing him to eternal banishment from the Extreme Network.

“To you, Brian Ruderman, we have said in the past, Do the Dew,” Mountain Dew Highfather Snow-boardus the Totally Radical said as the final verdict was delivered. “But from this day forth say we it no longer, saying to ye instead, Brian Ruderman, go forth from this place, leave us, and Do the Dew no more.” ..continue..

My favorite ‘The Onion’ article, good to see their older stuff being put back on the site.

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